tv is my boyfriend

I spent two hours of my life today crying my face off over The Biggest Loser makeover episode. It just made me so happy hearing them talk about how far they have come both physically and emotionally and watching their families freaking lose their shit during the reveals completely sent me over the edge. It was all so inspirational and heartwarming and made me feel weirdly proud of about the whole thing and this is exactly why I shouldn’t watch reality tv. I am now at a point where I am so emotionally invested in all five of the remaining contestants and now the thought of seeing any of them go home makes my heart too sad. I would honestly be the most happy if any of them won. Also, I secretly want to be their friend.

So yeah, next week is going to ruin me. I could barely stand to watch this weigh-in and I already knew how it ended!

I also spent a good part of my day trying to figure out how I can watch previous seasons of The Biggest Loser, because seriously I love this show. I am all in. Eff yeah fitness and all of that jazz. Also, I just really like it when Jillian Michaels is yelling at someone who isn’t me.

And since I really hate watching tv shows on those sketchy illegal sites because I blame them for everything that is wrong with my macbook (I mean, should it really be this slow as a one year old???), this is where I need Netflix to kindly step up its game. I feel like Netflix really has the whole documentary and television show thing on lockdown, now I really need it to step its reality tv game. I want The Biggest Loser and The Real World, please.

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When I woke up this morning I declared to the heavens above that this was going to be my day. A day in which I would spend some much sought after alone time and do so many of the things I had been meaning and needing to do for far too long. A day without work and minimal studying required. It has been a very long time since I have had such a day. I mean, a whole day! To myself! Can you imagine what one could possibly do with a whole day?? I can only guess it would be a whole lot because, well, spoiler alert: this day did not end up being anything like that which I had planned.

But oh it ended up being exactly the kind of day that I love so much. So while my house is still in slight disarray and my textbooks are anxiously waiting for me to grace them with my presence, I rather think this day was a success.

Why, by noon I had pretty much checked all the boxes on most of the things I had wanted to do anyway. Which, I have been wondering this a lot lately isn’t it just the most curious thing how much you are able to accomplish when you are getting up at seven instead of noon? It’s like, oh hey there time, I have missed you.

While I was in the middle of making a list of even more things to accomplish on this great day, I got a phone call inviting me to attend the Utah football game. I actually hesitated for a split second before saying yes on account of this being my quiet day to myself. But if you know anything about me, I’m pretty sure you know I will never be able to say no to Utah football. Never. And I’m thinking it was exactly the right decision. I know I had promised myself and the heavens a day that most definitely does not include 45,000+ screaming football fans, but when it is a day for yourself, you actually get to do whatever it is you please – judgement free. And a football game is something for which I always yearn.

And that’s how I came to find myself happy as can be with toes on the verge of serious frost-bite while big fluffy snowflakes melted softly in my hair standing on the field at the ten yard-line during the second quarter of the football game. I mean, I was so close I could hear just how terribly loud it is when the players slam in to one another. I was so sure that that UCLA running back must have been dead it was that loud! But then he immediately stood up like nothing had happened and ran back to the middle of the field ready to do it again. It was the most amazing of experiences. I miss it already. Also? Those players are way bigger than they appear on my tiny television screen.

After our delightful victory against those blasted Bruins, we headed to a friend’s house where I got to see some of my favorite people and have all of the conversations I love so dearly. We talked about movies and the Oscar Season and all that is wrong with The Walking Dead lately and the many awesome aspects of Bill Simmons and all of the televisions shows I am obsessively watching right now (SO MANY) and sexy times of Twilight and how my never having seen Ghostbusters is apparently a crime against humanity and more tv and more movies and even some music and have I ever mentioned that pop culture is my favorite thing? I could talk your ear off about about pop culture.

Oh and then there is the part where I made a marvelous discovery called banana caramel milkshake. I’m kind of in the middle of a serious love affair with caramel lately. Like, caramel all the time in my mouth please. And my love for bananas has always been strong, so I knew there was no way this combo could lead me astray. I am still a wee bit astonished it has taken me my whole life to figure this out.

Oh my.

Yes, I think I rather liked this day.

I went to the ballet tonight. Oh how I just love the ballet! I am always in support of any excuse to get all dressed up and watch pretty dancing while fancy golf clapping. This particular ballet was all about vampires. I just don’t know what it is about the vampires lately, but I can’t get enough of them. I mean, have I ever mentioned how much True Blood I have been watching? It’s probably an unhealthy amount, that’s how much. But I’ll save that for another post. Or maybe not. It’s rather embarrassing. MARRY ME ERIC NORTHMAN.

Uh, where were we?

Oh right – dancing vampires. You know what is really dreamy? Pretty blonde vampires in pretty white flowy dresses. So flowy that it really just looked like Mr. Dracula was dancing with paper dolls. They just seemed so light and flexible. Tell me, why is it that ballerina vampires look like they are made of liquid paper? How do they do it? Why are they so bendy? How can their toes do that??? It just isn’t fair that they can make it look so easy. And I can’t even really be mad at them because they are all so pretty and amazing.

And then there are the men. The men in tights to be exact. Oh and I know this sounds ridiculously absurd. It’s enough to make any girl giggle. But have you really seen dancing men in tights? Because you see, those pretty dancing men with the nice butts in their tights helped me to realize something tonight – any potential suitor of mine should probably have been a ballerino (Is that right? That can’t be right) at some point in his life. And also, maybe he should learn to hold me above his head circa Dirty Dancing and Crazy, Stupid, Love. 

Which really is just to say that this man needs to stop wasting his time and get here already. I hope he realizes that my criteria get tougher each and every day that he waits. Why, just the other day I decided that it was entirely unacceptable to me that he not love Harry Potter because I have officially decided that my wedding needs to be Harry Potter themed and that my proposal should also be of similar fashion.

NOW DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU WAIT, SIR? Had you shown up last week you probably wouldn’t need to be registering for ballet classes or to ever have read Harry Potter (actually, this probably never changed. people who have never read Harry Potter really cannot be trusted) and you wouldn’t need to learn how to conjure up a patronus to deliver me my ring. Really this is your own damn fault, dude. I beg for you to hurry up and get here for your own well-being honestly.

But I digress.

I haven’t even told you my most favorite thing about the ballet. My absolute favorite part of the ballet is the dance fighting. Even more than the graceful ballerinas and the sexy ballerinos, I adore the dance fighting. The music gets all intense and the overly exaggerated dance punches fly and suddenly everyone is everywhere and it kind of looks like pandemonium but it really isn’t because it’s all choreographed so flawlessly and then there are more dance kicks and dance lunges and lately the ballet has been loving fireworks so there’s that also and the dance victories and and it’s just so great!

The ballet is awesome, yo.