quotes

riddikulus

by ameena on February 17, 2012 · 2 comments

in plight of the twenty-something, real talk

There always comes a point in the midst of the sads in which I finally stop and look at myself. I mean really look at myself. And I laugh. I laugh because at that point what else is there to do but accept how utterly and entirely ridiculous it all is. More specifically, I laugh at how completely ridiculous I have been behaving. Naturally this week was no exception for the laughter because boy was I being ri-dic-u-lous this week, you guys.

Now I am in no way saying that I shouldn’t have been sad, or that my sadness wasn’t in some ways justified, but there was definitely a point in which my sadness evolved in to wallowing. And because I have always had a tendency toward exaggeration, when I wallow – I really wallow. My love of the theatrics has taught me to embrace whatever emotion I am feeling with all of my heart and as a result I can sometimes lose perspective. I forget that things are maybe not as bad as they seem and that perhaps I shouldn’t be taking it all so darn seriously. So I laugh as a reminder. Because if Dumbledore ever taught me anything it is that, “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

So I finally turned on the light and saw the ladder that was waiting to carry me out of the hole and now I just want to say thank you. Thank you for your kind words and support because they were my first glimmers of light. And also thank you for indulging me while I unabashedly displayed my tendency toward theatrics. To be honest, I have actually been really embarrassed by my last post and I even thought about deleting it because I felt like such a baby, but this is my blog and what kind of space would it be if it weren’t an honest reflection of what I felt in the moment? So I decided to keep it. But I also want you to know I understand just how ridiculous it is.

And now because it has been far too long since I last did this. Here are my Reasons to Smile:

:: I survived my first round of midterms! And I think I did pretty amazing on them. Looks like I will be graduating this semester after all (still crossing my fingers and toes because even though I am a mostly good student, I have this weird feeling this will be the first semester I actually fail a class).
:: Completely rearranging my room. It’s the little things, really.
:: The fact that I will be in Austin, TX in less than 36 hours. I’m so excited to be spending the weekend with some of my favorite bloggers. And also running my SECOND half-marathon. Eeeep!
:: Complaining about The Walking Dead. I really really love to hate this show, you guys.
:: Happy Endings, Up All Night, and Modern Family. If you aren’t watching these shows, you’re doing it wrong. “It” being life. Also, someone please explain to me how I have time for all of the tv I watch.

be still my heart

by ameena on February 10, 2012

in matters of the heart, quote this

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”

― Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets

please excuse me while i check my humility at the door because LOOK WHAT I DID YOU GUYS!

by ameena on January 29, 2012 · 9 comments

in a day in the life, life and times of bilbo baggins and mr toad

One of my goals for 2012 is to have a crafternoon at least once each month because, well, one can never really do enough crafternooning if you ask me. My crafty goal for this month was to paint something for my fireplace mantle on account of it has been looking rather naked ever since I removed its Christmas dressings. Scandalous, I know! I’ve been obscenely obsessed with this print that I found on Pinterest and decided to attempt to recreate it.

I’m madly in love with the result:

But THEN, I realized that I had accidentally purchased a two-for-one canvas set and just couldn’t stand to leave one canvas untouched and also because I’m equally obsessed with this pin, I ended up with this:

And just in case you wanted to see them one more time:

Okay, I’m gonna stop humblebragging and put my humble pants back on.

Thank you for indulging me.

dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today

by ameena on January 7, 2012 · 5 comments

in a day in the life, random musings

I have recently taken to dancing around my room in my underoos. I’ll turn the music up real loud and let the bass take over. My socked feet will begin slipping and sliding on the cold, wood floor and slowly my hands will raise up above my head. Once my booty starts shaking, oh well that’s when you know there’s no turning back! Club Underoos in da house! Why –  I even put Cameron Diaz to shame!

Just typing it all out loud makes me ridiculously happy. In fact, brb, I gotta take a quick trip to Club Underoos. Isn’t that just the silliest word? Underoos. ha.

I often like to say that I am the kind of person who takes all of the wrong things too seriously and the right things not seriously enough. And the past couple of weeks have been no exception. Lately, I have been taking LIFE waayyyy too seriously. I’ve forgotten how to laugh at myself. How to laugh at life.

More specifically, I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about death (oh hey there morbidity, take a seat). I think this has a great deal to do with this incredible article on the Top 5 Regrets of the Dying that has been making it’s way around the internets this week (No seriously, read it. I’ll wait. Done? Good). I’m afraid that my regret will be that I let my fear of dying prevent me from living.

If you haven’t realized before – I am a bit of dreamer. I am also incredibly passionate that people should spend their lives following their dreams. But every so often I panic and worry that I will never have enough time to accomplish all of the things that I so desperately dream of. I become paralyzed with fear and I either start giving up on everything bit by bit or I try to keep myself incredibly busy for fear of “wasting time” until slowly, eventually I remind myself that my fear of death shouldn’t be a discouragement but rather the ultimate form of encouragement.

A reminder that life is too short to spend it doing something you hate. Encouragement to seize every single day. Comfort in taking time to enjoy the little things. Inspiration to never forget your dreams.

And so I dance. I dance to remind myself that life is beautiful and to stop taking things so darn seriously. Those dancing underoos let me know that it’s okay to laugh at life and enjoy it, because as Marilyn Monroe once said, “We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets.”

nothing a good book can’t fix

by ameena on November 30, 2011 · 2 comments

in quote this

The best moments in reading are when you come across something – a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things – that you’d thought special, particular to you. And here it is, set down by someone else, a person you’ve never met, maybe even someone long dead. And it’s as if a hand has come out and taken yours.

- The History Boys

I’m on the prowl for some good winter break reads. There is a void in my heart where The Hunger Games used to live. I knew I read those books too fast…

What have you been reading lately?

writer’s block, titanic problems, and choosing happiness

by ameena on September 16, 2011 · 3 comments

in blogging about blogging, plight of the twenty-something

I have been staring at a blank screen for days. I’m not sure if it’s the screen, wordpress, my macbook, or the part of my brain where all my belovedly strange thoughts appear – but something stubborn is surely afoot. I don’t like it one bit. This block of the writer’s is dreadful. All of this staring at the blank screen has allowed my imagination plenty of time to play detective and now my meticulous sleuthing has allowed me to deduce that I contacted the bug some time during my recent excursion through Funky Town. (whew! what an exhausting sentence to type!)

You see, somehow over the past several weeks I managed to get lost. I suspect it may have something to do with the left I took from Amoeba Avenue or my unexpected detour through Sobriety Lane or even that right turn way back on to Runners Road, but one thing is for sure I was definitely in unfamiliar terrain.

This funk was unlike any I have experienced in recent memory. It was subtle but extensive. All the time the only way I could describe my mood was “annoyed.” Everything, and I mean everything annoyed me. I was secretly angry at everyone and no one. And I most certainly am not one who typically gets annoyed very easily. I try very hard to be patient and understanding. But in Funky Town things are never as they should be. You find yourself saying such ludicrous things as, “I feel like I am standing in middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top of my lungs and no one even looks up” and when your mind is busy echoing the thoughts of Rose DeWitt Bukater you don’t really have much time for things like patience and understanding. It’s a strange thought, that feeling of being all alone in a crowded room. Have you ever felt it? Oh its the worst!

Because my insecurities seem to have been on steroids and my lungs were exhausted from all the screaming I was being forced further in to introversion. I became quiet and reserved when with friends, whenever anyone would bust chops I would take it far too personally, and I often came across as bitchy and stand-offish when meeting someone for the first time.

Fortunately for me, I have friends who fight harder when I begin to inadvertently push them away and refuse to take it personally. They immediately recognize that something seems off and do their very best to support me and they absolutely refuse to allow any of my apologizing for being in a funk.

I think the single biggest help in getting me through these funky times is this quote shown to me by the beautiful Tara. And while it is referring to running it really helped to turn my mood around,

“Happiness is a choice, be happy or be miserable — the distance is the same.”

- Source

I’m so happy to be choosing happiness once more. Now if only I could show this writer’s block the door.

ameena floating on a pond

by ameena on September 3, 2011 · 2 comments

in random musings

“You will always have some excuse not to live your life.” – Chuck Palahniuk.

Back in my high school glory days I played the violin in the school orchestra. One time, in an effort to describe how terribly rehearsal had gone that day, my symphony teacher told us to all imagine “Ameena floating on a pond.” Okay, what he actually said was “amoeba floating on a pond,” but unfortunately us high school kids were never really the best listeners. So instead we all heard the former to which my classmates responded with laughter and a years worth of jokes and to which I nervously chuckled in order to hide my serious mortification. I had no idea the thought of me floating on a body of water evoked such depressing imagery. How sad!

And even though he quickly corrected the misunderstanding, here I am nearly seven years later wondering if maybe we had actually heard Mr. F correctly the first time. Because, you see, the truth is – I am amoeba floating on a pond. Although this species of amoeba has nothing to do with adolescent screeching violins and more to do with the fact that I have spent far too much of my life living in a manner not entirely unlike a simple, single-celled organism.

For too long I have been stationary. Going with the flow. Waiting for opportunity and adventure to come my way. Keeping everything simple. Hoping that the tides of my pond always stayed calm. Living in my own little single-celled world.

But lately I have felt big changes in the water. I have found that I am living my life more deliberately. Not only am I actually making plans to do those things I have dreamed of for ages but I have also started calling myself out on all of the excuses. It’s almost as if I am an active witness in my own maturation. I am becoming an adult. I have been slowly turning my back on various pursuits and anxiously looking forward to others. I am living my life with more purpose. Making plans. Following through. Trying new things. Asking myself the big questions. Facing my emotions. Doing more of what makes me happy. Embracing change. Pursuing opportunities. And always looking out for new adventure.

I refuse to take the back seat in my own life. I want to see. To do. To explore. To live. 

This amoeba is evolving.

Are you ready, world?

Reasons to Smile

by ameena on July 1, 2011

in reasons to smile

A couple of years ago I stumbled upon a Harvard study which found that people who write down five things that made them happy every day tend to be happier people overall. Ever since that study I have tried to make it a point to keep track of my daily reasons to smile because I believe that whoever said, “every day may not be good, but that there is something good in every day” was really on to something. So whether it was the actual best day or the absolute worst day, I continue to strive to write down at least five reasons to smile.

I’ve decided that every* Friday I will share my weekly reasons to smile here with all of you. Here are some of my favorite things about this past week:

*Of course when I say “every” I mean that loosely. As in, please don’t hold me to that.

 

Listening to the Dave Loves Movies podcast with Bill Simmons, Jon Hamm, and Adam Scott. Jon Hamm and I should be friends. And by “friends” I totally mean Lovers.

 

My beautiful roomie making her triumphant return from her 6-week long adventures through Chinaland.

 

So as it turns out, John Cusack’s only good movie is still good. If you haven’t seen Better Off Dead I highly recommend you get on it.

 

Email CAPS attacks with Brandy over the cornucopia of awesome that is The West Wing. Also on a related sidenote: Have you ever noticed that Charles Widmore is on All the TV Shows? I don’t even know his real name all I know is that I am still surprised when I see him on a show even though I should know better by now. Like, the other day I came home and my roommate was watching Ugly Betty and there he was. It’s like he knew I was coming. Fucking creepy.

 

I just finished making these cupcakes and they are currently cooling off next to me and it is taking some serious will power to not skip the frosting and eat them all right now.

 

I spent a good twenty minutes laughing at these t-shirts. I want them all.

 

This strawberry infused vodka sounds amazing. Luckily for me my KJ totally agrees and she is on day two of the “dark place” step. Sounds creepy, but when it is Strawberry Vodka magic it’s most definitely not.

 

Our So You Think You Can Dance Fantasy League. I’m totes in second place!

 

My addiction to Pinterest is getting a little out of hand…

 

The fact that the zoo has been invaded by DINOSAURS. Well and the fact that the zoo is awesome.