kicking ass and taking names

so you say you’re a runner part the fourth

by ameena on February 26, 2012 · 5 comments

Last weekend I completed my second half marathon.

…

!!!

You guys! Do you know what this means?? The first time wasn’t a fluke! This is the real deal, y’all. I am indeed an endurance athlete. In fact, I have fallen so far in to the running hole I’m not sure I can even see the circle of light high above my head anymore. Why, within forty-eight hours after my completion of this miraculous feat I went and signed myself up for four more races.

FOUR MORE.

There I was with legs that were so sore they were about to fall right off and I was all like, “here races have all of my money! More sore please!”

This is getting serious you guys. After this race I decided it would be best if I took a week off to let my muscles recuperate from the hills on account of that’s what the internet told me to do, but really all I have spent this week thinking about is how badly I want to be running. Or at least that’s what I think about when I’m not thinking about my foam roller. My days lately have been pretty much all about looking forward to that moment when I can be reunited with my bff the foam roller. Oh how I love that foam roller! IT HURTS SO GOOD.

Let’s just take a second to go back and talk about those aforementioned hills, though. It was about six days before this half marathon that it finally hit me just how lucky we were to have had such a perfectly flat course for our first half marathon back in October. As I began looking more in to the course for the race in Austin, the only thing I ever read in the recaps was blah blah blah hills blah hills hills hills blah blah HILLS. Did you know that Austin Texas is home to all of the hills? Because I had no idea. When I hear “Texas” I think “flat”. How very wrong I was. I mean, those hills were never ending! We did some rough guessing after the race and we estimated that there were at least ten hills in those 13.1 miles. At least!

But that was kind of the best part about finishing this race last Sunday. Not only did I run the entire thing from beginning to end without a single walk break, but I also ran what will undoubtedly be one of the most challenging courses I will ever run.

And knowing I am capable of that feels pretty damn fantastic.

===

previous posts on my adventures in running
my first half marathon experience
why i’m not longer allowed to think about running
so you say you’re running a half marathon

please excuse me while i check my humility at the door because LOOK WHAT I DID YOU GUYS!

by ameena on January 29, 2012 · 9 comments

in a day in the life, life and times of bilbo baggins and mr toad

One of my goals for 2012 is to have a crafternoon at least once each month because, well, one can never really do enough crafternooning if you ask me. My crafty goal for this month was to paint something for my fireplace mantle on account of it has been looking rather naked ever since I removed its Christmas dressings. Scandalous, I know! I’ve been obscenely obsessed with this print that I found on Pinterest and decided to attempt to recreate it.

I’m madly in love with the result:

But THEN, I realized that I had accidentally purchased a two-for-one canvas set and just couldn’t stand to leave one canvas untouched and also because I’m equally obsessed with this pin, I ended up with this:

And just in case you wanted to see them one more time:

Okay, I’m gonna stop humblebragging and put my humble pants back on.

Thank you for indulging me.

i am okay, y’all

by ameena on December 30, 2011 · 3 comments

in matters of the heart, real talk, reasons to smile

My ex broke up with his girlfriend.

You know, the one he left me for. Twice. The same ex that took me over nine months to finally “get over”. Yeahhh, that ex. That girlfriend. Upon hearing this I was really surprised at how unaffected I was by the news. I mean, this is a moment that I spent many a month dreaming about. Praying for even. I always thought I would be happy. Jump up and down. I’d be all, “High fives for everyone!” Everything would feel right in the universe. But instead I just felt sad for them. Not sad sad, but rather the kind of sad you feel whenever you hear about a breakup. That’s a really great feeling, you know – realizing just how far you’ve come.

Sure, I haven’t been in a relationship since this last one ended. And yeah, I still feel lonely more often than I sometimes like to admit. But I really feel like I have started to figure my shit out. That relationship was stunting my emotional and mental growth and it wasn’t until I was out of it that I learned exactly how to become my own person. A person that I am very proud of most days. A person I never would have known had I stayed in that relationship. But also someone who couldn’t exist had it never happened. I really like that I can appreciate that and not get upset. These are good feelings. After wishing it for so long - I am okay.

And that’s really why I almost didn’t write this post. Because sometimes it feels silly to write about nothing. But then this probably isn’t really nothing after all. (In fact, it’s a really big something. YOU GUYS I AM OKAY.)

The only annoying part about the whole thing is that I have already had at least four people make the too easy (in my opinion) joke asking if I had called him yet/did he spend the night/when were we getting back together. Oh, hahaha, those friends of mine – always the jokesters.

(My answers: no, no and hell no.)
(just in case you were worried.)

because this is the kind of thing that happens when I should be studying for finals

by ameena on December 5, 2011 · 3 comments

in sorry for party rocking

Olivia and I figured our time would better be spent planning a fancy cocktail party, this is the invite we came up with:

‘Twas the weekend after finals, and all through the land
Not a student was studying, and a party was planned;
Dresses were selected with tender love and care,
In hopes that cute boys would surely be there;The students were nestled all snug in their beds,
As visions of cocktails danced in their heads;
And Olivia in her antlers and Ameena in her thinking cap ,
Had just settled down to write this sweet rap,When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
We sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.
Away to the window we flew like a flash,
To see all our friends ready to get trashed.

The moon on the breasts of so many did glow
As they all stood there waiting outside in the snow,
When, what to our glazed over eyes should appear,
But a party in The Cottage, with plenty of beer,

So bring a designated driver, lively and quick,
Who can take you home should you get sick.
With more liquor than Vegas, it’s time for a drinking game,
These partiers whistled, shouted, and to this party they came;

“Down, 1300 South! and, Main Street!
Now, Fancy Drive and 3!
Past the Subway! and goodwill! and then you will see,
The Cottage on 27th Street is the place you should be!
To the top of the porch! Just say you’re a guest!
Of house 8973! With hor d’ouerves you’ll be blessed!”

Unlike heaves that before wild stomaches do fly,
You’ll meet with no obstacle, if you simply reply,
Up the stairs to the housetop you’ll find,
A cute house with vodka for you to unwind.

And then, in a twinkling, you’ll hear that night
Songs by Mariah, and Britney, you’ll be able to recite.
As you pour a shot, and take a look around,
So many friends in fancy outfits will abound.

Girls in cute dresses and the men dressed up too,
There will be greens and golds and reds and blues,
Quick to escape the cold frosty air,
Everyone was ready for a fancy holiday affair

Your eyes — how they’ll twinkle!
After some stoli with berry!
Your belly will be full, with peppermint schnapps and cherry!
We’ll provide plenty of food both savory and sweet,
It will be hard to resist so many good eats;

Ugly sweaters are so two thousand and late,
But feel free to bring with you a date;
Even ones with broad faces or round bellies,
As long as you promise to shake your jellies.

There will be peppermint patty shots, atop a shelf,
And you’ll laugh when you take one, in spite of yourself;
If things get too rowdy we’ll provide you a bed,
Alas, we like you better alive than dead;

Now don’t fret too much, for once you finish finals and work,
You can come join us on a snowy night in December; now don’t be a jerk,
Laying aside this invite after you’ve read,
Hopefully a “yes” will be all that you’ve said;

So spring to your sleigh, and head up the hill,
For a night full of fun, it will be quite a thrill.
You’ll hear us all exclaim, after this one epic night,
“Happy Christmas to all, we did this thing right.”

We’re pretty damn proud of ourselves, yes we are. Although we can’t take quite all of the credit as we did run in to some writers block (studying will do that to one’s brain) so we did take some amazing pieces from this genius piece of work. Because hello! that girl is a amazing.

Oh and don’t worry that’s not my real address, creep.

so you say you’re running a half-marathon, part the third

by ameena on November 4, 2011 · 10 comments

in so you say you're a runner

Six months ago if you had tried to tell me that I would one day identify myself as a runner, I would have called you a dirty liar and maybe even would have been so rude as to laugh right in your face.

Me? A runner? Ha!

Hahaha.

And that really is the funniest thing about life – so much can change in six months. Why not only have I become borderline addicted to running, I have also accomplished something I never in a million trillion years thought I would do – I completed my very first half-marathon this past Sunday!

I know, right? Sometimes I even have a hard time believing it really happened. But it did. And I am just so darn proud of myself I’m not even going to pretend to be humble in this here post.

Before I proceed to tell you about the race, I should tell you that the past couple of months I have been fighting a terrible, bloody war with the “not enoughs.” It is almost as if I have had a little doubt monster on my shoulder whispering the most dreadful of things in my ear. All day long it is whisperings of you’re not good enough, short enough, pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough, fast enough, not enough, not enough, not enough.

But something rather curious happened this past weekend just before my race – that little doubt monster up and vacated his home on my shoulder and for the first time in weeks I felt at peace. Rather than working myself up in to a frenzied panic the night before the race, I just kept telling myself that I was ready and that no matter what the next morning was going to come and that I was going to be at that starting line and that I was going to do my very best and that it was going to be enough.

I am enough.

And just as I predicted (sometimes my psychic abilities are uncanny) that very next morning I found myself right where I said I would be – in the midst of 7,000 runners about to embark on my life-changing journey. I reminded myself one last time that I was ready as I could be and that pacing was the word of the day. And then, we were off!

The next thing I knew, I was at mile three and feeling really good about life. You are doing this, you’re actually doing this I thought to myself. Shortly later I found myself face-to-face with the USC Colosseum, oh girl, you are the ultimate badass right now! keep on going! And so I kept on going. When things started to get a little rough around mile five or six, I whipped out my first energy gel and surged forward. See ya later Staples Center! You are dominating the eff out of this race! And then just like that, I was at the halfway point. HALFWAY?! I didn’t have long to process this crazy idea because at that moment I realized that there were runners running towards me. Wait, not towards me, towards the finish line. THE FINISH LINE. In one hour and ten minutes. I was floored. But it only lasted a minute because I realized that this was not discouraging but actually the most encouraging thing of all. Wow, that human body sure is amazing, my inner dialogue remarked, YOUR body is amazing. Look at what it is able to do! Oh body, I just love you so much and with that I stopped thinking about the people who were already done and continued running the mile I was in.

And that’s how I powered through, with overwhelming self-love and thoughts more positive (but slightly creepier) than any I had thought in recent memory. Thoughts from this same brain that had been the source of so much debilitating negativity and too much “not enough”, had become the ultimate source of encouragement and inspiration.

As I found myself running that final stretch towards the finish line I became crazy overwhelmed with emotion. Oh god, do not cry in front of all of these people. No, wait. Do what you want, you just ran thirteen point one effing miles! The crowd got louder as I approached the red carpet leading up to the finish line and within a millisecond of crossing it I called my mom in a verge-of-tears state of euphoria exclaiming I DID IT! I DID IT!

Holy shit. I did it.

And just like childbirth (or so I have heard), all thoughts of that sixth mile and the death hill that lead to nowhere and the rough patch where I thought my bladder might explode and even the pain in my knees were gradually replaced with thoughts of the people with the “You go Glen Coco!” sign and images of the beautiful view of the Hollywood Sign as I made my descent down that hill and most of all those many positive thoughts that carried me from beginning to end.

As we focused on the sheer awesomeness of what we had accomplished, we spent the rest of our weekend resting our sore bodies and happily discussing all of the future races we would eventually dominate in similar fashion.

Because whether six month ago me likes it or not, present day me is indeed a runner.

====

so you say you’re running a half-marathon parts one & two

the same ol’ song and dance remixed

by ameena on September 30, 2011 · 7 comments

in half-baked ideas

With the starting of a new school year also comes the falling in to a familiar routine. This year it looks something like: press snooze eleventymillion times, realize I’m going to miss my bus, barely make said bus, sit through class, stop by the lab, listen to all the podcasts, study, check Twitter, run, study some more, squeeze in one of the trillion shows I am obsessed with, panic, cram, sleep, repeat. I mean, sure it sounds super lame on paper but don’t let that fool you! I am living the dream, you guys.

Except, I’ve never been one to like routine. Whenever I feel it settling around me I start to get rebellious, antsy feelings in my gut. I always worry that routine means I am boring. It makes me feel uninspired. I become a quiet passenger in the passings of my time. One day blends in to the next. None of them with any real significance. Lemme tell you, it’s an absolute drag.

But this year I have decided to try something different. You see, it is around this time each year that I begin to talk all about how much this is my favorite time of the year*. All day long I daydream of fall feasts and haunted houses. Of my favorite scary movies and roasted pumpkin seeds. I am constantly on the prowl for the perfect crunchy leaf and I anxiously begin counting down the days until Pumpkin Pie Cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory. My scarves radiate excited energy as they prepare to make their fall debut and my eyes are constantly on the lookout for that perfect pair of boots.

But then November 1 rolls around and I find that I hardly celebrated October at all. It’s the saddest. The only way I know how to make myself feel better with this most disheartening of discoveries is to blame school and then vow to do better next year.

That is why this year I have come up with a surefire way to guarantee myself a guilt-free beginning to my November. Every single day during the month of October I vow to do at least one Autumn/Halloween related activity. That’s right y’all, I am going to celebrate the fuck out of October 2011. I don’t know that I can promise you full bloggy reports on each of my fall adventures but I can promise that I will try my absolute hardest to document all 31 things! But I need your help to do it! Tell me please, what are some of your favorite fall activities?

*Er, well, it is my favorite time of year until
Christmas rolls around. I’d like to think
they hold two special and completely
different places in my heart.

how to survive the mud

by ameena on September 24, 2011 · 8 comments

in how-to guides, so you say you're a runner

There comes a point in every adult’s life when she will find herself stuck in the mud. This could be (a) the slippery, muddy landscape that is life in general, (b) the debilitating, squelchy, shoe-eating mud of the ending of a relationship, (c) the far too wet and terribly smelly mud of a series of unfortunate events*, (d) the inexplicably and suspiciously warm mud of a new opportunity or even (e) the mud pit that smells so convincingly of horse shit one cannot help but wonder if it actually is mud.

Today I found myself chest-deep in option (e). And while that just sounds like the absolute worst thing to happen to a person don’t you worry about me! I am perfectly fine. In fact, I’m more than fine. I am damn happy to have acquainted myself with option (e). Because, you see, today I conquered the Dirty Dash.

In case you are not familiar with the Dirty Dash and stubbornly refused to click on my linky-link I will tell you that the Dirty Dash is a 10K obstacle course extravaganza that also happens to incorporate A LOT of mud.

I know that 10K and obstacle course doesn’t sell it very well but all you need to know is that it is the most fun you will have in your entire life. Like, I didn’t even have to remind myself to pack my smile! It came along for the ride on its own. I never once stopped smiling.

Now that I have you all convinced I bet you are dying to create your own mudslingin’ good time of an experience. That is why I have decided to put together this amazing guide. So without further ado I present to you – How To Dirty Dash:

Before

01// Come up with an amazing team name (Mudbloods!!)** and then frantically search for Harry Potter-esque costumes the night before. After hours of searching give up and buy tutus instead.

02// BUY THE WRIST BAND FOR THE HOT SHOWERS. The money goes towards a great cause and the warm showers are a little slice of heaven.

03// The race will start with a VERY steep hill. Do not try to show off your “hey guys look at me I’m training for a half-marathon” skills. This will become a very bad idea halfway up said hill. Also, realize that the “higher elevation” story is true. WHERE DID ALL THE OXYGEN GO?!

04// Turns out mud is slippery. When your mom suggests that everyone hold hands and jump in to the first mud pit together you will have no idea how deep that mud pit is and you will slip and fall flat on your ass and find yourself with a mouth full of mud. This is inevitable. Realize that the mud makes a nice blanket from how effing cold it is outside. I guess September in the Utah mountains is about 50-60 degrees. Who knew?

05// Don’t treat the hay bales as hurdles. Save your thighs for the rest of the race. Learn to sort of pathetically role over each of them. Pretend you are James Bond on a secret mission.

06// Arrive at the barrel crawl. Realize that how they make the barrel area good and muddy is with a FUCKING SNOW MACHINE (see video). Yes it is somehow blowing water instead of snow. Yes this water will be just as cold. And yes you will lose feeling in your fingers for the remainder of the race.

07// Get to the wall climbs and remember you have zero upper body strength. Make it over the first wall and nearly die. See several more walls and another snow maker. Panic. Remind yourself you can do this. Do it. Sort of.

08// Run right past the 5K shortcut without even considering it. You’re here for the 10K, baby!

09// JELLO SHOTS! Remember you are in Utah and that they contain zero alcohol. Consume anyway. Need sugar!

10// Get to the marsh. Wade through it until all of eternity and your leg muscles refuse to work anymore. Try to ignore the horrible stench. Find intense ecstasy in the mysterious warmth of the water. Appreciate the pioneers for everything they went through. It’s not as easy as it looks on the Oregon Trail!

11// Wonder how your legs are still functional after doing a hundred million tire jumps, running up incredibly steep hills, surviving that marsh and so many other obstacles I have forgotten to mention. Celebrate your superhuman legs.

12// Finally make it to the giant water slide you have been looking forward to. It’s totally as fun as it looks.

13// Wait for the rest of your group to catch up so that you can run the last 100 yards together.

14// Find yourself at the final obstacle before the finish line. THE MUD PITS OF ALL MUD PITS. Forget any lessons learned during the race and jump in to the pit cannon ball style with your entire team. Get mud on many of the spectators. Suckers.

15// Spend the next several hours talking about how much you loved it and how excited you are to do it again next year.

16// Watch the YouTube video a hundred times. Try to be sad that it is 364 days until the next one. Fail at sad because you haven’t been able to stop smiling all day.

After

You guys. Seriously. Mud Run. They have them all over the country. You don’t even have to be a runner! Three people in our group walked the entire race and still had a blast. So…I’ll see you the mud pits, yes?

*Whatever happened to those books? I’m sad I never finished them!
** It’s kind of embarrassing how long it took me to come up with that name.

ameena floating on a pond

by ameena on September 3, 2011 · 2 comments

in random musings

“You will always have some excuse not to live your life.” – Chuck Palahniuk.

Back in my high school glory days I played the violin in the school orchestra. One time, in an effort to describe how terribly rehearsal had gone that day, my symphony teacher told us to all imagine “Ameena floating on a pond.” Okay, what he actually said was “amoeba floating on a pond,” but unfortunately us high school kids were never really the best listeners. So instead we all heard the former to which my classmates responded with laughter and a years worth of jokes and to which I nervously chuckled in order to hide my serious mortification. I had no idea the thought of me floating on a body of water evoked such depressing imagery. How sad!

And even though he quickly corrected the misunderstanding, here I am nearly seven years later wondering if maybe we had actually heard Mr. F correctly the first time. Because, you see, the truth is – I am amoeba floating on a pond. Although this species of amoeba has nothing to do with adolescent screeching violins and more to do with the fact that I have spent far too much of my life living in a manner not entirely unlike a simple, single-celled organism.

For too long I have been stationary. Going with the flow. Waiting for opportunity and adventure to come my way. Keeping everything simple. Hoping that the tides of my pond always stayed calm. Living in my own little single-celled world.

But lately I have felt big changes in the water. I have found that I am living my life more deliberately. Not only am I actually making plans to do those things I have dreamed of for ages but I have also started calling myself out on all of the excuses. It’s almost as if I am an active witness in my own maturation. I am becoming an adult. I have been slowly turning my back on various pursuits and anxiously looking forward to others. I am living my life with more purpose. Making plans. Following through. Trying new things. Asking myself the big questions. Facing my emotions. Doing more of what makes me happy. Embracing change. Pursuing opportunities. And always looking out for new adventure.

I refuse to take the back seat in my own life. I want to see. To do. To explore. To live.

This amoeba is evolving.

Are you ready, world?

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