My ex broke up with his girlfriend.
You know, the one he left me for. Twice. The same ex that took me over nine months to finally “get over”. Yeahhh, that ex. That girlfriend. Upon hearing this I was really surprised at how unaffected I was by the news. I mean, this is a moment that I spent many a month dreaming about. Praying for even. I always thought I would be happy. Jump up and down. I’d be all, “High fives for everyone!” Everything would feel right in the universe. But instead I just felt sad for them. Not sad sad, but rather the kind of sad you feel whenever you hear about a breakup. That’s a really great feeling, you know – realizing just how far you’ve come.
Sure, I haven’t been in a relationship since this last one ended. And yeah, I still feel lonely more often than I sometimes like to admit. But I really feel like I have started to figure my shit out. That relationship was stunting my emotional and mental growth and it wasn’t until I was out of it that I learned exactly how to become my own person. A person that I am very proud of most days. A person I never would have known had I stayed in that relationship. But also someone who couldn’t exist had it never happened. I really like that I can appreciate that and not get upset. These are good feelings. After wishing it for so long - I am okay.
And that’s really why I almost didn’t write this post. Because sometimes it feels silly to write about nothing. But then this probably isn’t really nothing after all. (In fact, it’s a really big something. YOU GUYS I AM OKAY.)
The only annoying part about the whole thing is that I have already had at least four people make the too easy (in my opinion) joke asking if I had called him yet/did he spend the night/when were we getting back together. Oh, hahaha, those friends of mine – always the jokesters.
(My answers: no, no and hell no.)
(just in case you were worried.)