The longer I have been unemployed, the more grateful I am for the experience. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely spend a lot of my time shaking my fists at the universe in frustration and panicking about my perpetual unemployment, but the truth of the matter is that prior to my tumble in to the jobless life I was more miserable than I had been in a very, very long time.
I have spent the majority of the past year on a roller coaster of highs and lows. For me, a good week was one in which I only had one anxiety attack. Most weeks I could barely make it two days without calling my mom in hysteric tears. Everywhere I went I was haunted by my future. I felt so much pressure to make big, life changing decisions – even though I wasn’t even the least bit ready to do so. Helpless, I spent the year blindly marching forward like a bull in a china shop, I was frantic to make anything work. Then one day I stopped and took a look at the mess I was creating for myself. I realized that I could really make something of my time in unemployment. That the uncertainty did not have to be my undoing, it could be my greatest opportunity.
Unemployment has offered me the opportunity to slow down and really, truly assess my current situation. For the first time in years I have had serious time to reflect on where I am and where I would like to go next. I know this all sounds incredibly cliche and worthy of the ultimate eye roll, but I really have begun to find myself these past few months and I am honestly happier than I have been in a very long time.
The best thing that unemployment has done for me is that it has offerred me the time to fall back in love with running and adapting cleaner, healthier eating habits. I am finally back to the place where all I want to talk about is running, all I want to read about is clean eating and all I want to do is practice both.
So even though I still face a whole mountain of uncertainty on this job search, I really feel as if I have started to build myself a solid foundation to help me get to the other side.