Having unlimited access to a hot tub is simultaneously the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me. I think Olivia said it best when she pointed out that basically we are far too immature for a hot tub.
I realized this was true when I found myself sitting in said hot tub surrounded by empty wine bottles at 4 o’ clock in the morning this past Saturday – or I guess normal people would call it “Sunday” at that point – following a ridiculous game of Truth or Dare: Hot Tub Edition. Which for the record is basically the only way truth or dare should ever be played. And yet, miraculously, this still doesn’t beat the weekend prior when Olivia and I somehow convinced a group of our friends to play Spin the Bottle: Hot Tub Edition.
Yeah, immature might be a bit of an understatement. In other news, we fucking rule at getting our friends in touch with their eighteen-year-old selves. So ya know, high fives for that.
Here’s the thing, my entire life “moderation” is a concept that has been totally and completely lost on me. For the most part I am all, “Look at me! I am sooooo healthy! Boo alcohol! Yay Brussels sprouts! More running please! Eff yeah adulthood!” And then other times – like the majority of this past month – I am all, “Let’s get drunk and make bad choices! What alcohol allergy? I am young! There is time for healthy later! Cake for dinner! Wahoo waking up at noon!”
My inability to find that happy place somewhere in the middle has started to give me severe whiplash. Usually what happens is I get so freaked out by how adult I can be that I start questioning everything and decide that the only answer is to swing to the complete opposite side of the spectrum which then results in me feeling guilty and being a total asshole to myself about how immature I am behaving so then I panic and scurry back in to the patiently waiting arms of adulthood.
And now I am exhausted just having typed that.
If someone could please explain this “moderation” thing to me I would be eternally grateful, until then you can find me in the hot tub trying to convince everyone we should play Seven Minutes in Heaven: Hot Tub Edition while stuffing my face full of carrots. That’s getting close, right??