This post is proof that either a) Nicole and I should never be left unattended under any circumstances ever, or b) Nicole and I should only be left unattended forever and ever until the end of time because the result is either pure madness or a whole other level of genius.
(My vote is for the latter, obvs)
After spending our weekend conquering glaciers and half marathons in the Alaskan wilderness, Nicole and I were feeling pretty unstoppable, or as I like to call it: “Walking Around Downtown Anchorage Like We Owned the Goddamn Place.” At one point we were walking back to our hotel in the pouring rain when we got to talking about how much we love running as an excuse to travel to awesome places and how crazy it is that in less than a year we have completed half marathons in at least three different states. Half-jokingly I was just like, “You know what would be really crazy? If we ran a half marathon in ALL FIFTY STATES.” And Nicole was all, “WE COULDN’T. COULD WE?” We kept going back and forth about this for a while trying to figure out how serious the other person was about this, but once we realized we had just completed a half marathon in one of the more obscure states (sorry Alaska, but it’s true), we knew we were already committed.
But the crazy didn’t stop there.
As we got more in to our scheming one of us was suddenly like, “JUST THROWING THIS OUT THERE BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SEVEN CONTINENTS?!?!” And then the other was all, ”!!!!!!!!!!!!” But like, you can’t be flying all over the world to be running half marathons – especially if your names are Nicole and Ameena and you have been bitten so hard by the running bug that all you want is to give your money to all running everything and you have also been left completely unattended in the Alaskan wilderness for the past 36 hours and are feeling more smug than you’ve ever felt in your entire life – so then we were like WHAT ABOUT A FULL MARATHON ON ALL SEVEN CONTINENTS???
And that was the moment everything changed forever.
So for the second time that weekend we fell back in to the Google hole and began searching for the coolest marathons we could find. We sat in our hotel lobby yelling things at each other like “WHAT ABOUT EGYPT???” or “OH MY GOD WE COULD RUN ON THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA!” and “SALT FLATS!” and “MOUNT EVEREST!” and “ANTARTICA!” Several hours and two shiny, new google documents later we emerged with a solid plan to run Seven Marathons on Seven Continents in Seven Years.
Like I said, this is either madness or brilliance. Obviously I am on team BEST! IDEA! EVER!
Nicole officially kicked things off when she completed the New York City Marathon this past November (like a fucking boss might I add) and I will be running my first marathon on September 22, 2013 when we both fly to Australia to complete our very first international race.
You guys, this is really happening! Please say you’ll join us?
Oh and if you happen to be in the area on raceday, I’ll be the asshat running the streets of Sydney quoting Finding Nemo non-stop and avoiding flight 815 to Los Angeles at all costs. Sorry in advance Australia. Sorry I’m not sorry.
Twenty months ago I let the internet trick me in to signing up for my first half marathon. On my very first day of training I couldn’t even run the required one minute without wanting to break down and cry. In fact, I’m pretty sure I did cry. Prior to my training there was only a single time in my entire life that I had run an entire mile without stopping – and that was when I was 12. The thought of running thirteen times that was almost too much to handle. There were so many moments during my four months of training that I thought about quitting. I would spend half of my runs thinking about ways I could gently break it to the internet that I had decided to say “No thank you,” to running and “Yes please!” to couch potato-ing.
It wasn’t until I hit about the two month mark that I really started to accept that maybe my goal of going from 0 to half-marathon in four months wasn’t the craziest idea I’d ever had (although it still is pretty close). I had finally passed the point of achy knees and devilish side cramps and was endlessly impressed by how quickly my fitness levels had improved in the short time since I had committed to this crazy dream. Why, those days of barely being able to run 30 seconds already seemed like a distant memory. Four months after I could barely run a minute without tears, I crossed the finish line of my first half marathon.
I think a lot about where I was twenty months ago and where I am today. It never ceases to amaze me that showing up day after day determined to do my best means that my best keeps getting better. And that’s the most important thing that running has taught me – big changes are the result of baby steps. The baby steps that have led me to leading a healthier, more active lifestyle have completely revolutionized my life and greatly contributed to my happiness overall. In reflecting on my transformation in to an endurance athlete I have come to realize that what makes me the happiest is inspiring others to lead healthier, more active lives as well. I find that I want to spend more and more of my time telling everyone I meet that if I can go from 30 second runs to half marathons to (hopefully!) soon-to-be marathons, then I truly believe that anyone can do it, too. And I want to help them get there.
All of this is exactly why I am just so darn over-the-freaking-moon excited to announce that this past week I secured not only one, but two jobs in the health and fitness industry. First of all I just want to say: what is this life?? I realize that I am the most blessed and eternally grateful for the opportunities ahead of me. Never in a million years did I think I would have made something like this happen, but hey, never in a million years did I think I would run half marathon – I’m full of surprises! I feel like I should probably spend some time apologizing to all of the people who tirelessly told me that everything would work out in the end, while dodging whatever I tried to throw at them in denial. So, thank you. Seriously.
Now I am off to enjoy the rest of my last day as an unemployed woman. Breaking Bad marathon here I come (I’m definitely going to miss my Netflix time).
Here are some of my favorite reads from the internet this week! I decided to do some experimenting with the format. One day I’ll figure it all out. Maybe.
The Politics
This past Tuesday marked the one year anniversary of Trayvon Martin’s unfortunate death. And while nothing will right the wrongs of that day, Think Progress put together eight inspiring things that have happened since February 26, 2012.
I found this piece on Salon to be rather enlightening. It discusses the extremely negative impacts of the bipartisan call to increase security in our schools. Arresting seven year olds? We can do better, America.
“This response to the Newtown massacre is of a piece with a developing post-9/11 American national-security-lockdown mentality — the belief that an armed response will solve most of our problems, domestic and foreign. It’s a habit of thought that leads not figuratively but quite literally to a police state. The over-policing of schools is just a part of the increasing militarization of the police nationwide, which in turn fuels the smoldering paranoia that drives civilians to stock up on AR-15s and the like.”
I don’t remember the last time an article made me so angry, but this piece by Timeon the current state of our healthcare system left me steaming for days after. It’s a very long read, but completely worth it. It does a great job of turning the national discussion away from who should be paying our medical bills to why are they so high in the first place?
Everyone should carve out two hours of their time and listen to the This American Life two-part series on Harper High School. During the previous school year, TWENTY SIX students of this Chicago school were shot. Six of them sadly passed away. TAL spent five months with the teachers, administrators, parents, and students as they try to navigate funerals, homecoming, budget cuts, gang violence, being a teenager and everything in between. This will break your heart, make you smile, make you cry, and enlighten you. I could not recommend it enough. Please give it a listen.
The Pop Culture
I just adore Ellie Goulding to pieces. Fun. is alright, too I suppose. Here is some audio of them doing covers of one another.
As it is in any industry, ambition on a man is seen as attractive; on a woman, it’s grating, unpleasant. “Female stars, more than male stars, are supposed to be humble and not put themselves out there,” says Karen Hollinger, a feminist film scholar. “They’re supposed to break down if things don’t go their way. They’re supposed to fall and pick themselves back up. But she has a patrician quality that never works well for female stars.”
Earlier this week I discovered that one of my dear friends from high school has one of the cutest DIY and home decorating blogs on the planet. Her stellar personality shines through so well in all of her posts and I just fell in love with her blog so fast. You are the coolester, Kenz!
My Favorite Posts
I really need you all to be watching Pretty Little Liars. There are only three more episodes left in this season and I don’t know what I am going to do with myself when it is gone. Here is my latest recap.
// My girl crush on Grace Helbig is getting a bit out of control. This video is adorable.
// I am kind of madly in love with Ashley’s writing style. She is just so articulate and self-aware and amazing at vocalizing the feelings I didn’t even know I was feeling. This post is a perfect example of all of the above.
“I keep the contrast high. I spend a lot of time writing by myself and a lot of time in loud theaters with a bunch of strangers while we watch someone with a microphone. I spend as little time as possible in the great in between where there is noise but it’s never very satisfying. I am only learning now that you can pursue minimalism to the point of boredom and then that becomes your starting point. Just when you think you have arrived, you realize you’re only at the beginning of creation.”
// Every year on her birthday Drea writes a letter to herself. They are always insightful and full of lots of real talk. This one might be my favorite of hers yet.
“So when the path turns too rocky, you’re going to have a hard time letting go, because you really believe this is it. But you have to let go. Be open to the change, as it will only bring good things. Quit your job. Let him go. Get on out there. The water’s fine.”
// To continue yesterday’s health kick, here is another perfect post by my favorite no-bullshit guru. Here she is talking about how hard it can be to make permanent changes to your life and gives some advice on how to do it anyway. As if the amazing content isn’t enough, there is also a special treat at the end in the form of a drool-worthy picture. No seriously.
But here’s the thing: You’re going to eat every day anyway, and eventually you realize that it is possible to make more good choices than not. But until then? The best way to hack a big, overwhelming, ongoing goal is to start with a “project-based” goal and focus on that until the underlying habit you’re trying to develop takes hold.
// I’m not sure if I have mentioned this before but the Slumber Party with Alie and Georgia podcast makes me endlessly happy. I have been going back through their archives this week and these girls are effing hilarious. I can’t wait to move to Los Angeles and become their bffs for life.
// This has been a real good week for new music. Basically I have had the new Foals album [spotify], Justin Timberlake’s Mirrors [youtube], and James Blake’s retrograde [youtube] on repeat.
//For You Consideration: A Parody of Anne Hathaway’s “I Dreamed A Dream” Oscar Bait Performance
// I would like to start with a personal reason to smile and say I successfully posted every day in January! Go me. I’m interested to see what happens to this trend if when I finally get a full time job.
// My friend Nicole launched a new blog last week and it is full of so much inspiring awesome I can’t even handle it. If you’re interested in cutting the bullshit out of your life, then you should definitely add it to your reader!
But – and here’s where things get interesting – right after I reached the 10 mile mark I had a flash of realization: I wasn’t going to get any more uncomfortable. The wind was howling and I was slowly working my way through it, pushing that brick wall up that sandy mountain, and it was fucking horrible, yes, totally fucking horrible, but it wasn’t going to get any worse. I realized that I had made it through 10 miles of this agonizing slog of a run, and that if I just accepted the fact that I was uncomfortable and that it wasn’t going to get better but that it also wasn’t going to get worse, I could relax into the discomfort instead of fighting against it so much. And that moment, the exact moment when you allow yourself to get comfortable being uncomfortable, that’s when you begin to grow.
// Have you ever found a blog and fell so in love with it that you end up reading the entire thing from beginning to end? Well, that happened to me this week with the Tumblr of Tess Lynch. I’ve actually been a fan of her writing for a while now so I’m not sure why it took me so long to do this, but I literally read the entire thing from beginning to end. Whenever I do something like this I always get super freaked out that the person will figure out how creepy I am for reading their entire blog and then they won’t want to be my friend. And yes, I definitely know how analytics work and that Tess would have had no clue I was the one creeping on her blog all week if I hadn’t just gone and told the whole internet. Also, she inspired me to bring my tumblr back from the dead.
// This week Emma from A Beautiful Mess shared some of her pointers on how to live an inspired life and even though they are things we’ve probably all heard before, I love the way she writes about them and I really think we could all stand to hear this advice again and again.
Wouldn’t be cool if every single day we faced big opportunities that could change our lives? What if every day was the Olympic race we’d been training for or the job interview we’d been dreaming of for years? Guess what, it’s not. Every day is just that: It’s every day. But it’s the little steps that propel us forward. The same attitude you would apply to a big important event, that’s how you should approach your everyday tasks.
// Back to Black by Amy Winehouse is one of my top five albums of all time. I hate that so much of her life and death have been focused on her personal demons, when the only thing that should matter is just how fucking talented she was. This article perfectly discusses her life, death, and legacy.
Billie Holiday had her own demons, too, although they were much less documented than Winehouses’s – and we have come to appreciate Holiday’s ouvre. It might be time to do the same for Amy Winehouse.
// Finally, I think this is one of my favorite internet finds in a very long time. Esquire does this feature called What I’ve Learned in which various actors, musicians, athletes, writers, politicians, news anchors – over 300 people total – speak very candidly about what life has taught them. You can find the entire archives here and I highly, highly recommend you spend some time with it. I was definitely moved to tears by many of them and it is fun to see so many high profile people in a new light. I’ve included quotes from some of my favorites below.
And in the end, I was thankful that although my profession was that of a military man — commander in chief of the armed forces, prepared to defend my nation with maximum force if I had to — I was able to go through my entire term in office without firing a bullet, dropping a bomb, or launching a missile.
I’ve had a pretty good lesson in human nature. It’s more important to try to surround yourself with people who can give you a little happiness, because you only pass through this life once, Jack. You don’t come back for an encore.
But I came to the conclusion that I was not going to wake up one day at sixty-five and say, “What a waste.” At the very least I was going to grab as much out of this life as I could.
I don’t think anybody’s necessarily ready for death. You can only hope that when it approaches, you feel like you’ve said what you wanted to say. Nobody wants to go out in mid-sentence.
I don’t have any big regrets, because I’m pretty happy with my life. But I have lots of minor regrets. I always order the wrong dish in restaurants. Always. No matter what I order, somebody else orders something that’s better. It even got to the point where I was consciously trying to pick things that I didn’t think I wanted, because I thought I would reverse the process and actually pick the things I would later regret not having. But I regret that, too.
There are these signposts along the way of getting older. The first is when the Playmate of the Month is younger than you are. Suddenly you’re starting to feel dirty because you’re twenty-three and she’s nineteen and you really shouldn’t be looking at that picture.
The next thing that happens is professional athletes are younger than you are.
Then coaches and managers are younger than you are.
And finally, the last one that happens: I’m the same age as the president of the United States.
// Window washers at a Pittsburg Children’s Hospital. How incredible is this picture?? If I was one of those kids I would flip shit over this. Also, I highly recommend checking out this entire photoblog. Every single photograph is absolutely breathtaking.
// This. All of this.
“I resolve to love life and to soak it all up. I resolve to stop missing chances. To say yes to the boy who wants to take me out. To set my own standards, my own boundaries, my own bedtime. I resolve to quit comparing myself to others – the prettier, the funnier, the ones who manage to go out more and still get up at the crack of dawn. I resolve to be okay with the fact that that girl just isn’t me.”
// This is the first time a .gif made me cry. So now there’s that.
// Do you remember the Weasley’s magic clock that instead of telling the time, told where the various members of the Weasley family were located in space? Some dude made a functional version of it and I am obsessed.
// Rembert nails it again. Even though we were cheering for different teams (sorry, friend) I am still in love with his version of Sunday’s events.
“Purposely waiting until most of the plane had boarded to enter, I walked down the aisle, mean-mugging anyone with “San Francisco” on his or her shirt. Yes, even a child. I had to. That 6-year-old made his choice. I made mine.”
// This Ted Talk by Victoria’s Secret model Cameron Russell is refreshing in its honesty. .
“If after this amazing list, they’re still like, ‘No, no, Cameron. I really want to be a model,’ well then I say: be my boss. Because I’m not in charge of anything and you could be the editor-in-chief of American Vogue or the CEO of H&M or the next Steven Meisel. Saying that you want to be a model when you grow up is akin to saying you want to win the Powerball when you grow up. It’s out of your control and it’s awesome and it’s not a career path.”
// Because I cannot stop thinking/talking/watching/obsessing over this week’s episode of Pretty Little Liars here is an excellent recap so we can do all of the above together. Also, I thought maybe I should share a recap that isn’t just me yelling incoherent things in ALL CAPS.
“Spencer goes to Toby’s apartment, I guess to just feel more awful, and can’t get in. She breaks down outside the door, begging him to tell her there’s more to it than how it looks. It is absolutely wretched to watch. Also mesmerizing.
“I know you’re in there. Will you… Will you just tell me that what I saw tonight wasn’t real? Please, just tell me that there’s more to this story. That there’s something that I don’t know. Please. Please, Toby… Please, Toby.”
She falls down on her knees outside the apartment, having fully lost her shit, and it’s incredibly sad. This girl who trusts nobody, this girl who’s smarter than everybody, played for a fool. It’s just vicious. And her existential crisis about it — the sick idea that there’s still a way this can be okay — is somehow the worst part. Like that’s how stretched out her brain is, by this. That she could find a way to forgive him, if he’d just open the door.”
Did I ever tell you I was invited to be a contributing writer for Pooping Rainbows? Well, I was and I am ever so excited for the opportunity. On the 25th of every month you can find me writing for the sake of writing over on Peter DeWolf‘s brilliant brain child of a website. I am honored to be in the company of so many talented writers and I hope you enjoy reading along.
My very first post just went live and it was quite the anxiety filled process working up the nerve to write it. I want to use this opportunity to push myself creatively and try new things with my writing and while it is always uncomfortable to go outside of my comfort zone I am really proud of the result.
And now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go take a million deep breaths because eeeeep.
A little over a month ago I gave up. Straight up quit everything. I was all, “See you later all of the amazing changes that have been making me feel great! I’m gonna go feel like shit instead!” And I quit. I said goodbye to my healthy eating habits and my half-marathon training schedule. I abandoned my goals for 2012 and promptly forgot about my you-are-moving-to-Florida-so-be-responsible-with-your-money budget. I chose sleeping in over going to class and to top it all off I decided to start drinking again.
I became really great at spending a lot of time in bed and hating myself. In fact, “I felt like shit” doesn’t even begin to adequately describe how terrible I felt. I was just so angry and frustrated with my inability to do the things that made me feel so good. If you didn’t know, I’m really great at the self-loathing guilt trip.
One day I decided my pity party needed some company so I called my mom. I tried my hardest to keep myself composed but I think it took all of ten seconds before I started crying. We’re talking major ugly tears, snot all over my face, fucking bawling. And I just sprung it on her out of nowhere! Luckily, that mother of mine is a treasure because she was able to promptly talk me down from the ledge. Two hours later I found myself taking a crafternoon and watching Friends – guilt free. Clearly, it was time for the baby steps.
And that’s when I realized it was okay to quit. I gave myself permission to put the Joy Equation on hold and to eat whatever the hell I felt like. I told myself it was time to take a break from writing and that if I didn’t make it out for a run every single day it would be okay. I promised myself I would not allow any of the guilty feelings for giving up because I also promised myself it would all be temporary.
You see, I was trying to change so much all at once and it was starting to do things to my brain. And on top of that I was stuck in the middle of a particularly challenging semester and trying to focus on graduating. So I chose one thing and prioritized it.
Earning my college degree seemed like a good place to start. I refused to let myself feel any guilt for the millions of late-night peanut butter cups consumed or the fact that I wasn’t running as regularly as I should have been. I did whatever it took to get myself through one final semester. I still felt like shit. But it seemed more bearable because I had eliminated the guilt.
Except there was one tiny, little problem I hadn’t really foreseen. My temporary solution was exactly that – a quick sweep under the rug. Because all of this is exactly how I found myself on the night of graduation standing in the middle of my messy, neglected room, slightly intoxicated, less than eight hours from my flight to San Francisco, and freaking the fuck out. The thing about sweeping your anxiety under the rug until after finals are over is that as soon you are done the anxiety is kind of still there waiting for you. Suddenly, the thought of getting on an airplane and running 13.1 miles was the actual most overwhelming thing in the world and I realized I just couldn’t do it.
While I am so sad that I missed the opportunity to meet some new blogger friends and catch up with others in San Francisco this past weekend, I know that I made the right choice by staying home. I was also reminded of the overwhelming kindness and generosity of you mighty fine people of the internet. Seriously, thank you.
I am really so grateful for this week as an opportunity to focus on settling back in to my old routine. Baby steps are nice.
