blame it on the booze

on passion, real talk, and moments

by ameena on July 22, 2012

in a day in the life, movies, Pop Culture, random musings

Friday night my friends and I watched the first two Batman films while playing the most ridiculous drinking game. Did you know the characters in Batman Begins really like to talk about fear? (DRINK!) And Christopher Nolan is an awfully big fan of showing off that Gotham City Skyline? (DRINK!) We didn’t either. Well, until it was too late. But none of that could have prepared us for the moment we learned that EVIL JOFFREY BARATHEON IS THE CUTE, INNOCENT LITTLE BOY IN THE FIRST MOVIE.

Caption: WHAT?!

(CHUG ALL THE BEAR)

(and maybe cut yourself off because clearly chugging a beer = appropriate reaction, chugging a bear = certain death).

It was while I was sitting there, drinking to the bats and sandwiched between some of my favorite people, that I realized I was in a Moment. The kind of moment you wish you could fold up and carry with you in your pocket. The kind of moment that reminds you how wonderful the people in your life truly are and just how much you are going to miss them.

The highlight of the night, for me, came in the form of several mini-debates we shared throughout our movie marathon (is Christian Bale one of the greatest actors of our time? Just how important is Christopher Nolan’s trilogy? Best Joker moments? How big of an asshole is Jesse for unleashing major Game of Thrones spoilers FOR NO REASON? (just kidding Jesse, I forgive you. Sort of.)). My favorite by far was the Katie-Maggie debate. It turns out that pretty much everyone has some strong feelings on who is the better Rachel Dawes. Alliances were formed. Voices were raised. And of course we all agreed to disagree, as can be the only conclusion in the debate of the Rachels.

(For the record I am team Katie Holmes. TRY TO CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE)

What I am trying to say here is that I am so happy to have found people who love to passionately discuss movies as much as I do. You see, I have been thinking about passion a lot lately and the sorts of conversations that passion can foster. These are the interactions I crave. I strive to surround myself with passionate individuals. The kind of people who use their passions to turn their dream life in to reality and save the world. These are the people who do not fear diving head first in to real conversation.

I find that more often than not these people challenge me to be a better person, and I hope that I in turn inspire them as well. It is in these interactions that I always find my best ideas. Lately I have feared that the majority of my conversations hover in this weird place where the conversation isn’t necessarily shallow, but it doesn’t quite make it to the deep end, either. I miss the real talk.

And not just about television or movies either (even though I am aware that is what 80% of my conversations revolve around). I love getting past the surface and debating views on LGBT rights or debating what is more important – the environment or the economy. I love getting real passionate about the best way to spend a free Saturday afternoon or the top five moments of LOST. I love learning why people do what they do and discussing our big scary dreams and all that we plan to one day accomplish. And I will never tire of explaining why John Cusack sucks and Twitter > Facebook.

Friday night was a wonderful glimpse back in to that world of passionate conversation. Now how do I visit more often?

What about you? What are you passionate about? What kinds of conversations do you crave?

on hot tubs, whiplash, and my inability to understand moderation

by ameena on July 11, 2012 · 3 comments

in a day in the life, plight of the twenty-something, random musings

Having unlimited access to a hot tub is simultaneously the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me. I think Olivia said it best when she pointed out that basically we are far too immature for a hot tub.

I realized this was true when I found myself sitting in said hot tub surrounded by empty wine bottles at 4 o’ clock in the morning this past Saturday – or I guess normal people would call it “Sunday” at that point – following a ridiculous game of Truth or Dare: Hot Tub Edition. Which for the record is basically the only way truth or dare should ever be played. And yet, miraculously, this still doesn’t beat the weekend prior when Olivia and I somehow convinced a group of our friends to play Spin the Bottle: Hot Tub Edition.

Yeah, immature might be a bit of an understatement. In other news, we fucking rule at getting our friends in touch with their eighteen-year-old selves. So ya know, high fives for that.

Here’s the thing, my entire life “moderation” is a concept that has been totally and completely lost on me. For the most part I am all, “Look at me! I am sooooo healthy! Boo alcohol! Yay Brussels sprouts! More running please! Eff yeah adulthood!” And then other times – like the majority of this past month – I am all, “Let’s get drunk and make bad choices! What alcohol allergy? I am young! There is time for healthy later! Cake for dinner! Wahoo waking up at noon!”

My inability to find that happy place somewhere in the middle has started to give me severe whiplash. Usually what happens is I get so freaked out by how adult I can be that I start questioning everything and decide that the only answer is to swing to the complete opposite side of the spectrum which then results in me feeling guilty and being a total asshole to myself about how immature I am behaving so then I panic and scurry back in to the patiently waiting arms of adulthood.

And now I am exhausted just having typed that.

If someone could please explain this “moderation” thing to me I would be eternally grateful, until then you can find me in the hot tub trying to convince everyone we should play Seven Minutes in Heaven: Hot Tub Edition while stuffing my face full of carrots. That’s getting close, right??

on giving up and learning to forgive myself

by ameena on May 10, 2012 · 7 comments

in plight of the twenty-something, real talk

A little over a month ago I gave up. Straight up quit everything. I was all, “See you later all of the amazing changes that have been making me feel great! I’m gonna go feel like shit instead!” And I quit. I said goodbye to my healthy eating habits and my half-marathon training schedule. I abandoned my goals for 2012 and promptly forgot about my you-are-moving-to-Florida-so-be-responsible-with-your-money budget. I chose sleeping in over going to class and to top it all off I decided to start drinking again.

I became really great at spending a lot of time in bed and hating myself. In fact, “I felt like shit” doesn’t even begin to adequately describe how terrible I felt. I was just so angry and frustrated with my inability to do the things that made me feel so good. If you didn’t know, I’m really great at the self-loathing guilt trip.

One day I decided my pity party needed some company so I called my mom. I tried my hardest to keep myself composed but I think it took all of ten seconds before I started crying. We’re talking major ugly tears, snot all over my face, fucking bawling. And I just sprung it on her out of nowhere! Luckily, that mother of mine is a treasure because she was able to promptly talk me down from the ledge. Two hours later I found myself taking a crafternoon and watching Friends – guilt free. Clearly, it was time for the baby steps.

And that’s when I realized it was okay to quit. I gave myself permission to put the Joy Equation on hold and to eat whatever the hell I felt like. I told myself it was time to take a break from writing and that if I didn’t make it out for a run every single day it would be okay. I promised myself I would not allow any of the guilty feelings for giving up because I also promised myself it would all be temporary.

You see, I was trying to change so much all at once and it was starting to do things to my brain. And on top of that I was stuck in the middle of a particularly challenging semester and trying to focus on graduating. So I chose one thing and prioritized it.

Earning my college degree seemed like a good place to start. I refused to let myself feel any guilt for the millions of late-night peanut butter cups consumed or the fact that I wasn’t running as regularly as I should have been. I did whatever it took to get myself through one final semester. I still felt like shit. But it seemed more bearable because I had eliminated the guilt.

Except there was one tiny, little problem I hadn’t really foreseen. My temporary solution was exactly that – a quick sweep under the rug. Because all of this is exactly how I found myself on the night of graduation standing in the middle of my messy, neglected room, slightly intoxicated, less than eight hours from my flight to San Francisco, and freaking the fuck out. The thing about sweeping your anxiety under the rug until after finals are over is that as soon you are done the anxiety is kind of still there waiting for you. Suddenly, the thought of getting on an airplane and running 13.1 miles was the actual most overwhelming thing in the world and I realized I just couldn’t do it.

While I am so sad that I missed the opportunity to meet some new blogger friends and catch up with others in San Francisco this past weekend, I know that I made the right choice by staying home. I was also reminded of the overwhelming kindness and generosity of you mighty fine people of the internet. Seriously, thank you.

I am really so grateful for this week as an opportunity to focus on settling back in to my old routine. Baby steps are nice.

{image found here}

changes

by ameena on February 29, 2012 · 8 comments

in plight of the twenty-something, random musings, real talk


My favorite part of the day is quickly becoming the wee, small hours of the morning. It’s just such a delightful time. There is a peaceful silence about the world. Everything is still blanketed in a soft darkness as the sun hasn’t quite made its appearance for the day; the early rays of light just beginning to show along the mountain skyline to the east. The Cottage is quiet while the roommates are all still happily dreaming.

My mind feels clear and optimistic for the day ahead. I am able to plan and organize my thoughts for the day while curled up on the couch with my beloved cup of tea. The sounds of Frank Sinatra washing over me.

It’s the most beautiful time of day.

I haven’t always been such an early riser. Quite the opposite, in fact. Waking up used to be a never-ending struggle for me. I have slept through many a 10:30 class because I couldn’t get myself out of bed. At 10:30! Once I finally did get up, I would spend my days sluggish and worn. My motivation was lacking and my mind foggy. Those were some very dark days, friends. And they weren’t even all that long ago.

I’m not sure what brought about this change. I suspect it might have something to do with how in love with myself I have fallen recently. No wait! Hear me out. After years and years of abuse and neglect, I am finally realizing just how wonderfully important I am. I deserve the best. It is finally time that I start taking care of myself. I am eating better than I ever have and taking care of my body – the most important thing I own. And the changes I feel are astounding. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. I feel cleaner. purer. happier.

I never set out to make these changes. They started out so small at first I didn’t even realize they were happening. When I started running it was the first time I was working out regularly in my whole entire life. Then I had to cut alcohol out of my diet and I really started to feel a shift in my energy. In order to become a better runner I began teaching myself more about nutrition and gradually my plates were piled with fewer cupcakes and more brussels sprouts. Have you been introduced to the brussels sprouts? If not, allow me to introduce you because those brussels sprouts? Well, they have changed my whole world.

Once I began to feel better physically, I noticed the mental changes that were taking place as well. While I can still sometimes be my harshest critic, I have also become my very best cheerleader.

“You ran thirteen point one miles!” I’ll say, “There isn’t anything you can’t set your mind to and achieve!”

“Don’t quit now! I know you can do this!” I’ll cheer as I do round off back handsprings (in my mind).

“You are beautiful. You are strong. You are enough.” I love to chant.

I used to be terrified of changes. If someone told me I was changing I always took it be a terrible thing and I would panic and try frantically to reverse the trends. Changes in life scared me as well. They meant a deviation from routine, a voyage in to the unfamiliar.

But if I have learned anything over this past year it is that change is the best thing. It’s progress. It’s adventure. It means discovering just how wonderful those wee small hours of the morning truly are.

image found here.

when you say “football” what exactly do you mean?

by ameena on February 5, 2012 · 3 comments

in a day in the life, football, real girls like sports

This past Friday night I was at the bar with a bunch of amazing friends that I hadn’t seen in far too long. It was the kind of Friday night that makes me ever so happy. A night full of some of my favorite people, really great conversation, and absolutely no sadness that I was the only one without a drink in my hand (sometimes when we go out I notice that I would probably be enjoying myself a lot more if I had a few drinks in me. I then spend the rest of the night quietly wishing I was at home in bed watching 30 for 30. I don’t particularly like those nights).

At one point I found myself passionately discussing the recent hire of Brian Johnson as Offensive Coordinator for the Utah Utes with a friend. Not long in to our conversation we realized that some of his friends were also discussing the same thing. As we turned to join in on their conversation one of his friends (who I had never met before) looked right at me and rudely informed me that they were talking football. He said it in such a way that was so condescending that I’m pretty sure he thought I had never even heard of the sport and that maybe I didn’t speak english. I was so offended! I mean, who is this guy? I promptly informed him that I was indeed aware of this fact because I happened to be discussing the same thing with his friend.

He then spent the rest of the night blatantly hitting on me.

While I spent the rest of the night blatantly ignoring him.

hi 2012, nice to meet you

by ameena on January 1, 2012 · 3 comments

in 2012, a day in the life

I am feeling really big things for 2012.

I mean, let’s just start with the fact that for the first time in at least five years I actually enjoyed New Years Eve. WHAT?! I who dread that holiday with every fiber of my being actually enjoyed it?? A lot?? Why yes! A lot!

Who knew that the recipe for a successful NYE consisted of: sobriety (well, except one baby glass of champagne at midnight, of course!), being surrounded by all of your very best friends, dressing up, and a splash of dancing.

I didn’t even kiss anybody at midnight!

And it was GLORIOUS. Instead I gave new years hugs all around. Seriously, New Years kisses are so two thousand and late. Hugs for you and you and you!

Also, I have spent the greater part of the last week making BIG plans for the next year and I cannot wait to share them all with you!

Until then please enjoy one more glass of champagne because twenty twelve we have got a lot of work to do.

Can’t wait!

a cottage christmas affair!

by ameena on December 21, 2011 · 2 comments

in ho-ho-holidaze, life and times of bilbo baggins and mr toad, sorry for party rocking

This past weekend we had our fancy Holiday Cocktail Party at the Cottage. It was a real blast lemme tell you what! I learned a whole lot about those silly friends of mine. Most importantly that they dress up rather nice if I do say so for myself. So many shirts of the button-up variety! and oh those classy ties! some of the men-folk even threw fancy vests in to the mix! Also, have I ever mentioned that most of my friends are of the male gender? Because they are. I’m still trying to figure out why this is.

I learned that my friends really like to chant things. It’s kind of weird and maybe creeps me out but then it’s also rather funny. What was with all that chanting? I wish I could put in to words for you what it was like. So bizarre. Another lesson learned is that maybe if one truly wants to have a classy event, then one should probably not have invited all that mistletoe. And placed it so near the apocalyptic amount of alcohol in the kitchen. Strange things happen when mistletoe is around.

I also learned that the Cottage was made for Christmas. It just looks so good in all those Christmas dressings! Why, if I had my way I would make the Christmas Cottage a year long affair.

In fact, the Christmas Cottage was such a hit, that even Fabio couldn’t resist the fun! I suspect maybe he heard about my super hawt backless dress, but it seems more likely to be all those red velvet cupcakes.

Finally, I think the biggest lesson that I learned is that my goal to be better at documenting my life in pictures for the blog didn’t get off to a very successful start. Once the people started arriving I got distracted and forgot about the pictures. But all those pre-party pictures look nice, right?

because this is the kind of thing that happens when I should be studying for finals

by ameena on December 5, 2011 · 3 comments

in sorry for party rocking

Olivia and I figured our time would better be spent planning a fancy cocktail party, this is the invite we came up with:

‘Twas the weekend after finals, and all through the land
Not a student was studying, and a party was planned;
Dresses were selected with tender love and care,
In hopes that cute boys would surely be there;The students were nestled all snug in their beds,
As visions of cocktails danced in their heads;
And Olivia in her antlers and Ameena in her thinking cap ,
Had just settled down to write this sweet rap,When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
We sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.
Away to the window we flew like a flash,
To see all our friends ready to get trashed.

The moon on the breasts of so many did glow
As they all stood there waiting outside in the snow,
When, what to our glazed over eyes should appear,
But a party in The Cottage, with plenty of beer,

So bring a designated driver, lively and quick,
Who can take you home should you get sick.
With more liquor than Vegas, it’s time for a drinking game,
These partiers whistled, shouted, and to this party they came;

“Down, 1300 South! and, Main Street!
Now, Fancy Drive and 3!
Past the Subway! and goodwill! and then you will see,
The Cottage on 27th Street is the place you should be!
To the top of the porch! Just say you’re a guest!
Of house 8973! With hor d’ouerves you’ll be blessed!”

Unlike heaves that before wild stomaches do fly,
You’ll meet with no obstacle, if you simply reply,
Up the stairs to the housetop you’ll find,
A cute house with vodka for you to unwind.

And then, in a twinkling, you’ll hear that night
Songs by Mariah, and Britney, you’ll be able to recite.
As you pour a shot, and take a look around,
So many friends in fancy outfits will abound.

Girls in cute dresses and the men dressed up too,
There will be greens and golds and reds and blues,
Quick to escape the cold frosty air,
Everyone was ready for a fancy holiday affair

Your eyes — how they’ll twinkle!
After some stoli with berry!
Your belly will be full, with peppermint schnapps and cherry!
We’ll provide plenty of food both savory and sweet,
It will be hard to resist so many good eats;

Ugly sweaters are so two thousand and late,
But feel free to bring with you a date;
Even ones with broad faces or round bellies,
As long as you promise to shake your jellies.

There will be peppermint patty shots, atop a shelf,
And you’ll laugh when you take one, in spite of yourself;
If things get too rowdy we’ll provide you a bed,
Alas, we like you better alive than dead;

Now don’t fret too much, for once you finish finals and work,
You can come join us on a snowy night in December; now don’t be a jerk,
Laying aside this invite after you’ve read,
Hopefully a “yes” will be all that you’ve said;

So spring to your sleigh, and head up the hill,
For a night full of fun, it will be quite a thrill.
You’ll hear us all exclaim, after this one epic night,
“Happy Christmas to all, we did this thing right.”

We’re pretty damn proud of ourselves, yes we are. Although we can’t take quite all of the credit as we did run in to some writers block (studying will do that to one’s brain) so we did take some amazing pieces from this genius piece of work. Because hello! that girl is a amazing.

Oh and don’t worry that’s not my real address, creep.

← Previous Entries