There always comes a point in the midst of the sads in which I finally stop and look at myself. I mean really look at myself. And I laugh. I laugh because at that point what else is there to do but accept how utterly and entirely ridiculous it all is. More specifically, I laugh at how completely ridiculous I have been behaving. Naturally this week was no exception for the laughter because boy was I being ri-dic-u-lous this week, you guys.
Now I am in no way saying that I shouldn’t have been sad, or that my sadness wasn’t in some ways justified, but there was definitely a point in which my sadness evolved in to wallowing. And because I have always had a tendency toward exaggeration, when I wallow – I really wallow. My love of the theatrics has taught me to embrace whatever emotion I am feeling with all of my heart and as a result I can sometimes lose perspective. I forget that things are maybe not as bad as they seem and that perhaps I shouldn’t be taking it all so darn seriously. So I laugh as a reminder. Because if Dumbledore ever taught me anything it is that, “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”
So I finally turned on the light and saw the ladder that was waiting to carry me out of the hole and now I just want to say thank you. Thank you for your kind words and support because they were my first glimmers of light. And also thank you for indulging me while I unabashedly displayed my tendency toward theatrics. To be honest, I have actually been really embarrassed by my last post and I even thought about deleting it because I felt like such a baby, but this is my blog and what kind of space would it be if it weren’t an honest reflection of what I felt in the moment? So I decided to keep it. But I also want you to know I understand just how ridiculous it is.
And now because it has been far too long since I last did this. Here are my Reasons to Smile:
:: I survived my first round of midterms! And I think I did pretty amazing on them. Looks like I will be graduating this semester after all (still crossing my fingers and toes because even though I am a mostly good student, I have this weird feeling this will be the first semester I actually fail a class).
:: Completely rearranging my room. It’s the little things, really.
:: The fact that I will be in Austin, TX in less than 36 hours. I’m so excited to be spending the weekend with some of my favorite bloggers. And also running my SECOND half-marathon. Eeeep!
:: Complaining about The Walking Dead. I really really love to hate this show, you guys.
:: Happy Endings, Up All Night, and Modern Family. If you aren’t watching these shows, you’re doing it wrong. “It” being life. Also, someone please explain to me how I have time for all of the tv I watch.