i had a different post scheduled for today but then i ended up spending the day curled up in the fetal position trying to keep an anxiety attack at bay and decided to save that post for another day. c’est la vie. or YOLO. or something.
with that i feel like i should warn you that below you will find an entirely self-indulgent, overly dramatic pity party that i will probably cause me to spend the next week wondering if i should delete it. shall we?
did you know self-doubt eats unemployment for breakfast? that is definitely the thing my current job search has taught me. the longer i have gone without a job, the more i have convinced myself that i am pretty much unqualified for any job, ever. and even though i know that is most definitely not the case, i can’t help letting the voices convince me other wise. and once you fall down in to that hole of everything sucks and i am doing nothing with my life, it becomes nearly impossible to crawl back out. these are just the facts of life.
so during today’s spiraling in to the black hole, three things happened that made my fall a little less devastating:
1. i received a text message from a friend i hadn’t heard from in ages asking me how i was doing. she still has no idea what she did for me, but i thank her dearly for helping me feel a little less alone.
2. i submerged myself in a bubble bath made bubbly by shampoo because I do not have bubble bath stuff and it made me smile at the ridiculousness of it all. then i settled in for an hour with my most beloved disney tunes.
3. nicole wrote yet another amazing post in which she said: “If you want something other than what you have right now – if you want to be someone else or do something new or achieve something huge – you have to take a step in that new direction, and by default that means you’re taking a step away from where you are right now.” and it finally gave me the courage to do the thing i have been afraid to do for the past two months.
so, uh, yeah. i think that is all i have for today. here is to a better tomorrow! in which i talk about high heels and blake lively (no but seriously).