This morning was pretty spectacular. Not only did I wake up early enough to actually make and enjoy breakfast like a real adult, I also found out that I no longer have to take summer classes in order to complete my degree. This means I officially graduate this spring. Eeeep! I mean, it only took me five years, but as of May 2012 I will finally have a Bachelor of Arts (don’t ask) in Biology.
That’s right, I am the ultimate badass.
!!!
I was so overly ecstatic that I immediately texted, called, and tweeted pretty much everyone I know. I greedily commandeered my conversations in to I HAVE THE BEST NEWS territory. I happy danced. I smiled from ear to ear. I wanted to open mouth kiss everyone. Phampants suggested I instead kiss a squirrel, I think to avoid lawsuits. I worried about rabies. I decided dancing was enough.
Oh what a glorious morning!
But then,
slowly
gradually
morning turned in to afternoon and with it my ecstasy turned in to sheer panic. Because, you see, I have spent the past four and a half years refusing to give legitimate thought to what happens next.
YOU GUYS I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN NEXT.
Whenever I am in doubt there is always one place and one place alone I turn to for answers – Disney.
The next thing I knew I was tumbling down the Disney Careers rabbit hole and positively drooling over the sheer amazingness of their science internships. It was around the time that I was researching local zoo internships that I realized that “It would be cool.” is probably not a sufficient enough essay response or reason to be pursuing a career I hadn’t given much thought to prior to today.
I spent so much of my college career insisting that there was “no rush” when it came to determining what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. It is how I ended up on this here five year plan because I couldn’t decide on a major. I didn’t want to rush in to such a big decision! There was even a time when I was convinced I would be an English/History/Business/Biology/PoliticalScience/Music major. I wanted it all.
Perhaps it isn’t that I lack a clear vision for my future, okay okay, the reason I lack a clear vision of my future is that it is clouded by the fact that I want to do All of the Things.
The truth is I have absolutely no idea where my biology degree will take me. I always just hoped that my overwhelming love and admiration for my field would cause everything else to fall in to place. But instead it has had quite the opposite effect. I am so in love with every aspect, I just want to do it all.
I want to use my biology degree to continue to fight the evils of cancer and learn more about the fascinating world of disease. I want to spread the joy and wonderment that is zoology and marine biology. I want to save lives as an EMT and eventually as a physician’s assistant. I want to celebrate evolutionary genetics and the mechanisms of the cell. I want to solve criminal mysteries and neurological mysteries. I want to work for the CDC and DisneyWorld and Boston University and and all. of. it.
I was talking to a friend today about my uncertainty concerning the future and he mentioned a paper he recently read in which a researcher unveiled that most of the jobs students obtained directly after college ended up being completely different from their eventual careers. Clearly I interpreted this to mean I can do whatever the fuck I want.
Maybe I will just leap in to DisneyWorld’s Animal Kingdom or a research lab somewhere in Boston or even an EMT course. After all, I still have one more semester to figure it out, right?
…
Right?!
